how I found the missing link to true wellness
I have been running a successful health and wellness business for over 5 years, but, what if I told you that it took a confrontation with deep physical and mental pain to uncover a key missing ingredient (hiding in plain site) for myself and my clients to truly live and BE well?
It was June 2022 - My cute energizer bunny son had just finished his last day of kindergarten. He had been begging me to go to SkyZone for weeks, so I decided to be the cool mom and jump with him for 90 minutes. It actually was really fun showing off my old gymnastics moves! Until…I limped out with intense, stop-in-my tracks hip pain. I knew it wasn’t a new injury — it was my hip dysplasia acting up — something I had been dealing since birth. My hip didn’t develop properly (the ball and socket didn’t fit well despite surgery and casting), and random pain would happen occasionally after the wear and tear of 41 years of sports and an active lifestyle.
But, this time was different. Over two months that summer, I would do things to deal with and lessen the pain. As a wellness coach, I developed a perfected toolbox of activities and wellness solutions — I’d go to acupuncture, a chiropractor, and twist like pretzel in yoga trying to squeeze out the pain. This time, none of it worked, and in fact it got worse…
By August, I couldn’t walk to the mailbox without stopping several times. It felt like my hip bones were two hammers slamming with every step. Begrudgingly, I went to an orthopedic hip specialist (which I had somehow avoided for ~10 yrs), and as I sat on the uncomfortable exam table clenching the crinkly white paper, I was confronted with the shocking x-ray of my deformed hip. There was a cyst, bone spurs and very little cartilage left. The reality of my limited options to fix it was staring me right in the face. The doctor suggested the next step as a cortisone shot and some meds — two things I hesitantly decided to try. The shot worked for a week, and then the pain came back with a vengeance. I went back to the doctor and was confronted with the last option: a total hip replacement (THR). I was shocked — I was only 41 years old, how could this be happening? But, my gut told me that I had to do it.
Fast forward to November 30th. I had surgery just in time for the holidays, and I was sidelined on the couch recovering for a month alone, covered in ice, snacks and books. I was literally forced to surrender physically (they had removed bone and cut through muscles!) but I expected that. It was the weight of my thoughts that challenged me the most. The mental surrender felt shitty — I was stuck and still.
As the days slowly went on, I was physically healing, but each week it felt like the mental pain was getting stronger. I could feel it deep in my chest, and I struggled with big questions about my identity, happiness and wellness. I went internal and stopped work and took a social media break because I needed to retreat. I realized that no amount of green juice or sleep could alleviate what I was feeling. I knew very clearly that I couldn’t DO myself out of this recovery.
I was faced with the truth and I made a choice to surrender my attachments to what wasn’t serving me (and couldn’t be serving my clients either). I wanted to clear space for more JOY!
One day that week, despite a little recovery pain, I went for a short, slow walk by myself with a cane. All of a sudden, I noticed glimmers…how the crisp air felt in my lungs, a family of deer in the frozen grass, and sparkles of the sun through the branches of the trees. And for the first time in a while, I truly felt well. My head was so clear and the small pains were insignificant.
After my 5-week post-op doctors appt, I walked (maybe even skipped) into our local coffee shop and saw a good friend. She commented on my vibrant energy and asked how I was recovering and what was going on with my business since she hadn’t seen me online. I smiled from ear to ear and said, “I’m actually great! I found a new way to see and move through life and I’m ready to share it with the world. I was missing a key wellness ingredient — it’s joy!”
Post surgery — sharing my lessons and supporting women through coaching, yoga + speaking!